Part 1: Are you feeling stagnant or stuck? Are you frustrated saying, “My gosh, I have been committed to taking steps every day to progress forward, to reach my goal, to fulfill my destiny, but nothing seems to be making any difference”. Positive change must begin in your mind, mentally shifting your thoughts to what you want no matter what you are actually experiencing at the moment. Is that easy? Not usually. Is it necessary? Absolutely!

Stop right now and really analyze what is going on beneath the surface, where your thoughts, feelings and concentration have been attracting that very thing you want to change. Do you “see” yourself more confident, slimmer, healthier, in a better relationship—or whatever your desire is—or do you tell yourself there is no way that goal can manifest because you don’t have enough money, don’t think you’re attractive or smart enough, or a myriad of other self-defeating thoughts. It can take a hard push to visualize what you want to draw into your life rather than just wonder how it could happen.

Start journaling. Create positive thoughts where frustrating circumstances loom. “I get to plan my day because I am in charge of what happens to me. (Oops, here comes one more unexpected event to my day). However, I will deal appropriately with anyone or anything that seeks to upset my day. This is my day and I can overcome! God created me and He will strengthen me, give me wisdom (ask for it), and make my path straight.” Can’t you just feel your chin lift, the corners of your mouth turn up, even if just a little? Do you detect a refreshing deep sigh of relief?

Stay tuned for part 2

It truly is never too late for a new beginning!! Hit the Reset Button!
How do you stay on track to reach your goals when you are just trying to get through a day of reality–bills to pay, an uncooperative boss or client, or cranky spouse? How do you meet the challenges of caregiving while holding down a full-time job and raising kids? Start my own business? Finish college? Are you kidding me? It’s all I can do to get to bed before midnight! The most important thing you can do (even if the only free time you have is while driving down the highway or taking your morning shower) is to continue visualizing (regardless of the circumstances you see in front of you) and acting on faith! Start journaling. Create positive thoughts where frustrating circumstances loom. “I get to plan my day because I am in charge of what happens to me. (Oops, here comes one more unexpected event to my day). However, I will deal appropriately with anyone who tries to upset my day. This is my day and I can overcome! God created me and He will strengthen me, give me wisdom (ask for it), and make my path straight.” Can’t you just feel your chin rise, the corners of your mouth turn up (even if just a little), and notice your deep sigh of relief.

If you feel like too much of life has passed you by, check out these true-life examples:
• Grandma Moses began painting at the age of 76 because her arthritis prevented her from using a needle for her embroidery! Life magazine put her on its cover to celebrate her 100th birthday. (Her first paintings that sold for $3 later sold for $10,000)
• Colonel Sanders was in his 60s and on Social Security when he had to close his service station but then set out to promote his secret chicken recipe.
• Barbara Hillary became the first black woman to reach the North Pole at the age of 75.
• Harry Bernstein, published his first book, The Invisible Wall, at 96 in 2007.
• Mary Hardison became the oldest woman to do a tandem paraglide at 101.

A California man who missed his 1942 graduation because he was locked in an internment camp for Japanese-Americans during WW 2 finally fulfilled his dream. The L.A. Times reported that 89-year-old Don Miyada walked with the Class of 2014 at Newport Harbor High School 72 years after he was denied his own cap and gown. Talk about life’s circumstances getting in the way!!! He never let go until his dream came to pass!

 Old ways of doing things won’t open new doors! Remember the saying: If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always had.
Hit the “reset” button and kick your way out of the box!

Rita Rocker, International Author, Speaker, Trainer — Transformation Academy, LLC

Sometimes, the life of a the over-40 must be completely shaken, shifted and reshuffled to bring him or her to where they were meant to be in the first place! Some events that make those shifts necessary are beyond our control: losing a job, children moving back home, a health crisis or death of a loved one. Other life events open up the time and opportunities to explore new adventures. Even if you are experiencing issues that have hindered your ability to do what you love, read on and think about how you can incorporate your desires into your everyday life.

You? Getting Older? You Are Just Getting Started!

Could it be possible that age only counts with wine and cheese? By the time we hit 40, 50 and beyond, many of us have pushed important dreams and goals deep into the back of life’s closet. Situations, obstacles and excuses may have taken up residence in our homes and our heads, replacing our dreams with the ever-changing world we call “life.” News Flash! It is never too late to pull those boxes of dreams down off the shelf, tear them open with childlike enthusiasm, and initiate your plan. Yes, our lives may have taken a different course, filled to overflowing with work and relationships that left little or no time to pursue our original goals. By the time we are parents/grandparents, we may feel there are several reasons why it could be too late to get out of that all too familiar box. Some reasons may be legitimate for a season; others are based on fear or lack of self-confidence. The more time and energy we expend entertaining those reasons, the farther away we become from grasping our own brass ring.

It is Never Too Late to Grab the Brass Ring!

 Several years ago, I read the story of how the term “reaching for the brass ring” originated. This phrase has always symbolized reaching for, and achieving, one’s goals. The brightly painted carousels had beautiful wooden ponies that pranced up and down on shiny brass poles to the sound of calliope music. Children excitedly stretched high with determination to grab a fist-sized metal ring from a dispenser suspended just outside of the carousel. Most of the time, they would get a black ring. How joyful they were when, every once in a while, someone would grasp a “gold” one, the brass ring! That brass ring came to symbolize adventure, passion, joy, and having the ability to achieve their biggest hopes and dreams. If an 80 year old woman can earn her Bachelor’s Degree and a 65 year old obtained her pilot’s license, let me encourage you to go in hot pursuit of your dreams too! Have you grabbed your ring yet?

What steps can be added, or changes made, to your current lifestyle to bring those dreams to fruition? Let’s assess the experiences in your life to see how they can help you kick your way out of the box and live life to the fullest:

1. What is a true heart’s desire—a meaningful and important goal—you want to accomplish in your lifetime? Answer honestly without worrying about “how” to accomplish it.
2. A positive image is a vital secret for living the vibrant “mature” life. What do you believe your personal and professional image is at this time? What would you like to change? Start writing.
3. Up until now, how much time have you spent on yourself, your family and career? How has this impacted your ability to fulfill your desired lifestyle? How can you change it? Take a class that will beef up your career skills, join a mastermind group to restructure your focus, learn to say “no” more often?
4. What is different now? An empty nest? Are you married/divorced/widowed? Have you obtained a higher education? Is it necessary to now be a caregiver? Have children who were gone returned home? Do you have more or less time and money now? You will begin to see what pieces of your life’s pattern now need to be removed and replaced.
5. How can you use these experiences to build new opportunities and help others in the process? Your experiences, and what you did and did not enjoying doing, can strike a creative match in your mind to which new path to take. Life lessons are awesome teachers that equip you to scale new heights. It’s a new year. Time to create new pieces to your life’s pattern.

Dust off those dreams and true heart’s desires and get going! You can’t move forward while looking the rearview mirror! Add more roads (steps) to your life map and enjoy the ride.

(stay tuned for Part 2)

Even if you’ve traveled in the wrong direction all of your life, it is NEVER too late to turn around! Start writing your new life’s chapter today!

What is the most important area that you want to change?

• Feeling more peace, energy, happiness in life? Becoming healthier by more exercise and the right food choices?  Feeling better about yourself through positive thoughts and positive self- talk?
• Making simple changes in your demeanor and body language such as a more confident handshake, erect posture and good eye contact, and remembering to smile more?
• What would make you “feel” more confident in your newly transformed life? Will a class in public speaking, a makeover, or joining an organization, committee or any kind of fun or service group where you will make new friends and gain new skills?  Find experiences that add more happiness and confidence in your life.
• Explore what kind of energy you are projecting. Is it positive, negative, forceful, supportive? Energetic or tired? Hopeful or hopeless? Determined or deflated? Be aware, then takes the steps to transformation!

Yes, appearance, energy, attitude, what is projected from your face, body language and what comes out of your mouth, all influence your future. Enjoy your exploration into how to write a new chapter in your life for 2015!

Today, more than ever, deals are sealed at the table. If we are not comfortable doing business over a meal or happy hour, we may be losing business. Strength and making tough decisions go hand-in-hand with good manners.

Although many executives and managers are well-educated and technically adept, they have not been educated in vital social skills. Even though we might not be remembered for good manners, we will be for poor ones. Strive for etiquette that stands above the rest.

At business meals, it’s about BUSINESS. Remember WHY you are there and it’s not for today’s special prime rib. If you are hungry, have a protein bar or something light before the meal so you can concentrate on the business at hand.

When mixing lunch or dinner with business:

Invitations: “Let me take you to lunch at such-and-such restaurant” indicates you intend to pay the bill and take command of the table. Going Dutch? “Let’s have lunch. Where shall we go?” Whoever extended the invitation pays unless other arrangements are appropriate or have been discussed in advance.

Arrive ten minutes early if hosting the meal. Guests should always call if they are going to be late, even by a few minutes.

Business meals are a great way to build rapport and gain their trust first. Start with non-business matters first to create a warm, congenial atmosphere; however, be aware of any tight schedules others may have and honor their time.

The one hosting usually starts the serious business discussion. Avoid immediately bringing up work. A good time to start the work discussion is after appetizers. Use coffee and dessert time to summarize key points.

Pace yourself with your client. Don’t leave him or her eating alone or feeling rushed. They will feel more on the same page with you if you eat at the same pace. Take tiny bites so you can chew and swallow very quickly to keep the conversation flowing.

If at all possible, keep papers for your guests to look over later, not while eating.

Avoid personal topics such as politics, diet, religion or personal areas which may offend and alienate guests. Try talking about current events or news within their industry.

Include all guests in the conversation. If seated with many people, involve those within close hearing distance. Ensure body language is not shutting anyone out.

Remember your manners. Place your napkin in your lap once seated and don’t put it back on the table until you leave. If you must excuse yourself during the meal, place it on the back of your chair or to the left of your plate until you return. For sanitary reasons, it is not advisable to lay it on the seat of your chair.

Do not season your food before you have tasted it. Some see that gesture as acting before having all the facts, thus making the individual appear too impulsive. Seriously.

Following these tips shows decorum, respect and that you are well-mannered AND serious about providing the best in products and services.

For an extensive toolbox of personal and professional development, visit www.transformationacademy.com!

Think of your life as a kaleidoscope and how you can take all the disjointed pieces and turn them into something beautiful!

Kaleidoscope: 1) An instrument that contains loose fragments or bits and pieces which change and exhibit its contents in an endless variety of varicolored forms. 2) A succession of changing phases or actions constantly changing, rapidly shifting. 3) New developments, growing rapidly, one upon the other, having infinite variety, and possessing many facets. Does that sound like your life or someone you know?

Like the kaleidoscope, the pieces of our lives can change often and combine to create various new designs. At any given moment, life may once again become disjointed and feel out of focus. That is a sign to stop the merry-go-round that may be flinging obstacles in your path, gather up all of those fragments, and create a new pattern of hopes and dreams. You may have to tear out a few seams in your life’s design that no longer fit you or that have become too uncomfortable–a lifestyle choice perhaps, or a place where you like to go that is serving no good purpose. You may need to replace a torn sleeve—like a friend or job, for instance. How about adding a dash of life-giving color–flowers, educational or self-improvement classes, music that makes you happy–to your new pattern. Create a rich new blueprint that will lead you down a fresh, exciting path, one that will be instrumental in manifesting your purpose, dreams, and heart’s desires.

Truly, I feel, this is the perfect description of our varied existence, with all the bits and pieces constantly changing to make a full and varied life. Life seems a mass of disjointed bits and pieces having no particular significance by themselves, but together they can create a beautiful picture. I am sure God sees the overall picture, not our broken dreams and occasional frustrations. When He is in the driver’s seat, life can be a safe and satisfying journey in spite of our heartaches and tears.

You have the power within you to do just that!

Rita Rocker, international author, speaker, consultant, Transformation Academy, LLC

Part 3:

Do you grow your Relationship Capital?

What can you do to further differentiate yourself and set yourself apart from the pack, distinguishing yourself professionally and personally in the marketplace? It may be a new idea or program you developed; some research you conducted that the company turned into a viable product or service; an unusually memorable relationship-building event that you sponsored; or something else entirely. What will you do next to be more memorable, more distinctive, and ultimately more appealing in clients’ eyes?

Make Them “Want to Hire, or Buy From, YOU!

What is something you do better than anyone else in the world?’ Back up your statement with reliable evidence. Providing measurable outcomes separates the wannabe’s from the impressive doer’s.

Share anecdotes about how you got something done, against tough odds, and what the outcome was.

• Become THE ONE…be all that you want in others…courteous, a continuous learner, exhibiting a professional appearance, being a dynamic listener, etc., and having the same qualities that you want to see in others.

For more information on communication skills, professional image and business etiquette, career development, business and social networking, presentation skills and inspirational messages, go to http://transformationacademy.com/ritas-column-2/

Part 2. Here are two quick tips in how to show others you are the expert they want to do business with!

One of the best ways to get what you want/need is by being engaged and listening to others first, doing what you can to connect them with the right products, services or people before turning the attention on you. Although prospects and clients do want to hear about your great ideas, they first want to tell you all about theirs. They will be most interested about your ideas when they directly relate to their goals and aspirations. How will you know? By asking and listening. It is said that the most “expert” conversationalists are the ones who are the best listeners! You can provide the exact “expert” knowledge after fully comprehending what exactly they want and need.

Do you add more value than your competitors in your client engagements?

This means having a reputation for “exceptional value” – doing an even better job at delivering on your basic services than everyone else. More “surprise value”- helping your clients in unexpected ways by identifying issues and solving problems you weren’t even asked to address. More “personal value” – providing any “off the clock” coaching to help their own careers or business. It doesn’t take long to zip out a quick email or send a short note giving them a relevant contact, informative article or a quick word of encouragement.

Stay tuned to Part 3: How to Grow Your Relationship Capital